Osama for President!

He’s tall. He’s dark. He’s handsome. And, unfortunately, he’s dead. Can Osama’s sterling character and nonpareil charisma overcome his handicap? Can a truth-telling dead man be elected President of the United States? In this essay, political strategist Kevin Barrett of TruthJihad.com answers with a resounding “yes”!

Broadcast Thursday, June 23rd (listen here): National Security insider and Veterans Today editor Gordon Duff deconstructs “Popeye history” and says Osama Bin Laden was not only innocent, but actually a good man who cared about ordinary Americans and whose real enemies were the Zionists and corrupt insiders who did 9/11.

Based on Gordon Duff”s ringing endorsement of Osama Bin Laden, which supports conclusions I have drawn from my own research, I am launching a movement to ask the Democratic party to draft Osama, rather than Obama, as its presidential candidate in the 2012 elections.

Campaign slogan: “Change the B to an S, and you’ll hear a lot less BS!”

There are many reasons why Osama would be a better president than Obama. The most important is that Osama is known to be “truthful to a fault,” as his former colleague in the US-sponsored Afghan liberation war, Pakistani Intelligence Chief Gen. Hamid Gul, put it. Gordon Duff, a National Security insider who has worked with Gen. Gul, echoes that assessment, saying that Bin Laden’s “only crime” was that he “told the truth.” Considering that every US president since Jimmy Carter has been a pathological liar, it would be refreshing and inspiring to finally elect a new president who is “truthful to a fault.”

Naysayers will surely object that of course Bin Laden won’t lie to us, because he’s dead! How can we elect a dead man president? My response is that such bigotry against dead people is unacceptable. In 1960, Americans overcame anti-Catholic bigotry by electing John F. Kennedy; in 1980 they overcame bigotry against people with Alzheimer’s by electing Ronald Reagan; in 2000 and 2004 they almost overcame bigotry against the retarded by nearly electing George W. Bush; and of course in 2008 they overcame bigotry against Irish-American bisexuals who were born in Kenya by electing Obama. Additionally, there is a precedent for sending a corpse to Washington: Missouri voters greatly preferred the corpse of Mel Carnahan to the living John Ashcroft in 2000. Given this track record, there is no reason why we could not elect a dead man President in 2012.

But could a dead man, even one as dynamic as Osama Bin Laden, really execute the offices of President of the United States? Admittedly, most dead people could not handle the stress of the office of Chief Executive. But Osama Bin Laden is not your ordinary dead man. Since he passed away in December, 2001, Osama has compiled a long list of accomplishments:

* He has conducted more than a dozen TV and audio interviews, skillfully impersonating widely disparate characters ranging from a big fat gray-beard with a broad nose, to a short, skinny little shrimp with a jet-black beard.

* He has used his amazing charisma, which would be unusual even in a living person, to inspire Americans to continue their war-on-terror crusade.

* He has skillfully evaded detection, hopping from cave to cave attached to his solar-operated dialysis machine and finally winding up in a big house right next door to Pakistani military headquarters.

* He even put up an amazing fight against the American death squad that came to re-kill him, somehow managing to unleash a stream of machine gun fire against the death squad even though he was unarmed, and somehow using his wife as a human shield even though he did not use his wife as a human shield. Terrified by his superhuman ability to defy Aristotelian logic and elementary reality, the American troops were forced to hurriedly throw his body in the ocean, just in case he came back to life again, or somebody asked to independently verify his identity.

Some people will argue that because Bin Laden was born in Saudi Arabia, and is/was not a US citizen, he is ineligible to be elected President of the United States. To such people, I respond that if Obama can release a blatantly photoshopped “birth certificate,” then this Constitutional requirement is clearly no longer in force. Additionally, Bin Laden is eligible for posthumous honorary US citizenship based on his lifetime of service to the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency. As Gordon Duff writes: “Sources willing to testify in court, sources silenced because of phony concerns for ‘national security,’ sources who have held positions of trust and/or authority, tell me Osama bin Laden always worked for the CIA until his death. Most confirm his death in December, 2001.”

But wait a minute! Didn’t Bin Laden “hate America”? How could we elect an America-hater as President?

In reality, as Gordon Duff explains, Osama loved America and Americans, but hated some of the policies of their government…the same policies that are now hated by more and more of the American people. As Duff writes, Osama “believed that a powerful Israeli lobby controlled much of the US government and that the American people would suffer terribly because of this…”

But didn’t Bin Laden do 9/11? Hardly! He repeatedly denied involvement in 9/11 and deplored the killing of innocent people, including women and children. As a CIA intercept shows, Bin Laden said: “Whoever committed the act of 11 September are not the friends of the American people. I have already said that we are against the American system, not against its people, whereas in these attacks, the common American people have been killed.”

And though he worked for the CIA, Bin Laden was apparently honest enough to smell corruption in his own agency. When speculating on who might have helped pulled off 9/11, Bin Laden said (according to the CIA):

“Then there are intelligence agencies in the US, which require billions of dollars worth of funds from the Congress and the government every year. This [funding issue] was not a big problem till the existence of the former Soviet Union but after that the budget of these (FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY 180) agencies has been in danger. They needed an enemy. So, they first started propaganda against Usama and Taliban and then this incident happened.”

In short, Osama Bin Laden told the American people the truth about the fact that their nation has been taken over by an unholy alliance of Zionists more loyal to Israel than America, and corrupt elements of their own military-industrial-intelligence complex. This unholy alliance staged the 9/11 attacks as a pretext to seize power, plunder the American taxpayers, and terrorize any potential opposition by setting up a police state apparatus. (The step-by-step instructions for the 9/11 stealth coup d’état are outlined in Luttwak’s Coup d’Etat: A Practical Handbook.)

If the dead (fake) Osama could inspire Americans to relinquish their economy, their liberty, their Constitution, and their nation’s good name, perhaps the dead (real) Osama can inspire them to take these things back.

Osama Bin Laden for President!